Sam Wight

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I asked ChatGPT to rewrite the lyrics to Getaway Car in legalese.

As it says in the title, I asked ChatGPT to rewrite the lyrics to Taylor Swift's Getaway Car in legalese. Here's the first verse and chorus:


In a manifestly assertive negation, it is incontrovertibly stipulated that the origination of outcomes imbued with a propitious disposition is incommensurate and fundamentally antithetical to the operational parameters and designated utility of a mechanized vehicular entity, which has been specifically earmarked and allocated for the facilitation and execution of an expedited egress in scenarios necessitating precipitate departure.

[Verse 1]

The designated chronometric segment under meticulous scrutiny herein is demarcated by an assemblage of circumstances that collectively epitomize an unparalleled zenith in the ambit of societal and personal fortitude, prosperity, and well-being, thereby engendering a juxtaposition of considerable magnitude against a tableau of actions constituting egregious violations of statutory legal provisions, ordinances, and codified regulations, encapsulating a spectrum of moral turpitude and legal infractions. I partook in an act, premeditated in nature, entailing the initiation of a chemical reaction via the deliberate introduction of an incendiary element, an act which precipitated a metaphorical and substantive reconfiguration and upheaval of your mental faculties and perceptual paradigms, notwithstanding the absence of any inimical intent or malevolent foresight inherent in such actions.

It is incumbent upon the discourse to acknowledge and underscore that the actions aforementioned were undertaken devoid of any ill will or malevolent predilection, yet notwithstanding this, your sensory interpretation and cognitive apprehension mechanisms failed in their capacity to accurately construe, interpret, or apprehend the multifarious implications and underlying nuances of these events. The sartorial selections of the period in question were imbued with chromatic attributes reminiscent of traditional mourning, juxtaposed in stark contrast against fabrications and representations characterized by an absence of blemish, taint, or impurity, thereby manifesting a dichotomy in both visual and moral symbolism within the context of the prevailing social and cultural mores.

In an environment delineated by a gradation of chromaticity lacking definitive resolution and clarity, all under the penumbral and subdued emanation of luminescence originating from a light source constituted of a hydrocarbon wax-based material, the setting embodied a confluence of ambiguity and interpretive complexity.

There existed within the sphere of my personal inclinations a prevailing propensity towards the severance and disassociation from the male individual in question, an inclination necessitating the formulation, articulation, and subsequent establishment of a rationale and justification, which would withstand and endure the scrutiny and evaluation of both legal and ethical dimensions, maintaining adherence to established jurisprudential standards and moral doctrines.


A symbol, embodying significant gravitas and indicative import, was strategically and deliberately positioned to demarcate and signify the specific geographical and metaphorical point at which the disintegration, dissolution, and unraveling of our interpersonal dynamic and relational paradigm transpired, marking a definitive cessation of previously established relational constructs.

The male party in reference, through a series of deliberate actions and machinations, undertook the intentional adulteration and contamination of the metaphorical wellspring, a conceptual entity representing the essence of truth, authenticity, and veracity, concurrent with my own engagement in a process of self-delusion, a narrative construction in direct opposition and contravention to the objective realities, truths, and factual certainties of the prevailing circumstances and situational context.

From the very inception and embryonic stage of our association, an event symbolically marked and denoted by the partaking and imbibing of an alcoholic beverage deeply entrenched and rooted in historical, cultural, and traditional significance, the trajectory, ultimate denouement, and eventual culmination of our partnership were preordained and foretold to be one inherently devoid of success, fruition, or positive culmination, echoing the sentiments of predetermined futility and inevitability.

The probability, likelihood, and chance of achieving any form of favorable outcome, success, or positive realization in our surreptitious, clandestine, and covert undertakings and endeavors bore a striking, pronounced, and remarkable resemblance to the improbability, unlikelihood, and near impossibility of successfully executing and accomplishing a firearm discharge, an act of ballistic engagement, in a milieu, environment, and setting entirely devoid of visual assistance, aid, or illumination, reflective of an absolute absence of perceptual clarity and visual acuity.


Your role, position, and function within the narrative construct and unfolding tableau were that of the principal operator, navigator, and director of the automotive apparatus, a mechanized and engineered vehicle specifically, meticulously, and expressly designed, engineered, and assigned for the overarching purpose and objective of executing, facilitating, and effectuating our strategic, premeditated, predetermined, and expedited withdrawal, egress, and departure from a given locality, geographic location, and specific vicinity.

The path, trajectory, course, and direction which we embarked upon, initiated, and commenced, while outwardly presenting, exhibiting, and manifesting an illusion, semblance, and appearance of forward, onward, and progressive motion, movement, and advancement, were, in their intrinsic, inherent, and fundamental essence, nature, and substance, devoid, bereft, and lacking any significant, substantive, or meaningful advancement, progression, or forward movement towards a preconceived, predetermined, envisioned, or anticipated goal, endpoint, objective, or destination.

It is incumbent, obligatory, and behoove upon you to eschew, refrain, and abstain from the adoption, assumption, and portrayal of a facade, guise, or appearance of engineered ignorance, feigned unawareness, or contrived obliviousness in relation to, concerning, and regarding the intricate, multifaceted, and complex enigma, conundrum, and puzzle that encapsulates, defines, and characterizes the complexities, nuances, and intricacies of our shared, mutual, and joint predicament, situation, and circumstance.

I exhort, encourage, and implore you to engage, partake, and immerse in a process of introspective analysis, reflective examination, and contemplative assessment, a process focusing, centering, and concentrating on the specific geographic locale, coordinates, and location at which our initial interpersonal engagement, interaction, and subsequent relational evolution, development, and progression commenced, initiated, and began, thereby marking and signifying the commencement, inception, and initiation of our initial encounter, interaction, and the subsequent series of relational developments, interactions, and engagements that ensued and followed thereafter.

In the process of navigating, maneuvering, and traversing within a vehicular construct, entity, and apparatus explicitly, meticulously, and specifically engineered, designed, and constructed for the primary, fundamental, and overarching purpose and objective of enabling, facilitating, and providing for swift, efficient, unencumbered, and unimpeded relocation, movement, and transition from an immediate, specific, and particular vicinity, locale, and area.

The manifestations, expressions, and physiological responses within, encompassing, and pertaining to the anatomical region, area, and zone encompassing, incorporating, and including your cardiac system, heart, and cardiovascular apparatus bore a remarkable, noteworthy, and striking auditory resemblance, parallel, and similarity to signals, sounds, and auditory cues traditionally, conventionally, and customarily associated with, linked to, and indicative of situations, scenarios, and circumstances of imminent peril, danger, emergency, or exigent and urgent conditions and situations.

The foresight, anticipation, prescience, and forward-looking awareness of my propensity, inclination, tendency, and predisposition towards initiating, instigating, and effectuating a cessation, termination, and discontinuation of our collaborative venture, endeavor, and association should have been readily apparent, discernible, and evident within the bounds, confines, and parameters of reasonable predictability, foreseeability, and anticipatory projection, reflective of a standard of foresight and anticipation consistent with rational, logical, and prudent judgment.

I implore, urge, and beseech you to direct, focus, and orient your intellectual, analytical, cognitive, and contemplative faculties, processes, and capabilities towards a thorough, comprehensive, exhaustive, and extensive evaluation, assessment, and examination of the venue, setting, and location that signified, marked, and denoted the commencement, initiation, and onset of our initial encounter, interaction, and the subsequent series of relational developments, interactions, engagements, and exchanges that ensued and followed in the subsequent temporal progression.


I asked ChatGPT to rewrite Starships by Nicki Minaj as a legal contract.

I asked ChatGPT to rewrite Starships by Nicki Minaj in the form of a contract agreement. Here it is.

[Article 1: Agreement Pertaining to Coastal Recreational Activities]

1.1 Parties to this agreement (hereinafter referred to as "the Parties") hereby express their intention to venture forth to a coastal geographic location, commonly known as "the beach," for the primary purpose of engaging in activities related to oceanic wave interaction.

1.2 The Parties shall maintain autonomy of action and decision-making irrespective of external opinions, commentary, or potential judgments from third parties or public observers, in accordance with the principle of personal liberty and freedom of expression.

1.3 Authorization is hereby granted for the consumption of malt beverages, specifically those labeled as "Bud Light," within a celebratory context, including but not limited to actions commonly referred to as "toasting" or "clinking of drinks."

1.4 Recognition is hereby made of the rarity and unique nature of certain participants within this agreement, particularly those possessing qualities of distinction and noteworthiness, including but not limited to social, professional, or personal achievements.

1.5 Engagement in the consumption of distilled spirits, specifically Patrón tequila, is sanctioned and encouraged within a designated area, to be referred to as "the consumption zone." Participants hereby acknowledge their full and enthusiastic participation in said zone.

1.6 The Parties agree to exercise discretion in the provision of gratuities for services rendered during the course of these activities, with a suggestion towards generosity, notwithstanding their prerogative to utilize personal funds for non-essential or discretionary expenditures.

[Supplementary Section A: Dance Floor Utilization Protocol]

A.1 The signatories to this document (hereinafter "the Signatories") declare a profound and enduring interest in engaging in rhythmic physical movements, henceforth referred to as "dance activities," primarily conducted on designated dance surfaces or "floors."

A.2 It is requested by the Signatories that such dance activities be intensified and continued until such time as physical endurance or capacity may be fully expended, highlighting the potential uniqueness and unrepeatability of this opportunity.

A.3 An open and standing invitation is hereby extended to all relevant parties for increased participation in the aforementioned dance activities, emphasizing the potential for enhanced enjoyment and social engagement.

[Article 2: Directive on Aeronautical Ambitions and Elevation Intent]

2.1 It is hereby acknowledged and agreed that spacecraft, colloquially and hereinafter referred to as "starships," are constructed with the explicit function and capability of ascending beyond the terrestrial atmosphere and into outer space.

2.2 Participants are encouraged to engage in a symbolic act of raising their upper limbs towards the celestial sphere, signifying aspirations towards said aeronautical ambitions and reflecting the elevated emotional and psychological state of the participants.

2.3 There exists a mutual and binding commitment amongst the participants to persist in these activities, reflecting the elevated state of enjoyment and a collective decision to preclude any consideration of cessation.

2.4 The Parties hereby affirm their intent to repeatedly engage in these activities, reinforcing the significance and desirability of such repetition.

[Sub-Article 2.1: Affirmation of Elevated Status]

2.1.1 The Parties collectively acknowledge and affirm their metaphorical elevation in terms of emotional, psychological, and social excitement and enjoyment, which is quantified as being of a significantly high degree, thereby surpassing conventional thresholds and expectations.

[Article 3: Terms of Vehicle Ownership and Financial Commitments]

3.1 The undersigned hereby asserts exclusive possession and control over a personal motor vehicle, colloquially referred to as "hoopty-hoopty-hoop," notwithstanding any existing financial encumbrances or obligations pertaining to said vehicle, including but not limited to lease or rental agreements.

3.2 The undersigned reserves the right to prioritize personal satisfaction, well-being, and social interactions above traditional and customary financial responsibilities, explicitly including the payment of housing rent for the current calendrical month.

3.3 The Parties retain the right to engage in personal relationships and social interactions at their discretion, emphasizing a lifestyle of freedom and indefinite continuation.

3.4 Participants are encouraged to partake in a communal verbal expression, specifically the repetition of the phrase "Ray, ray, ray," as a demonstration of group solidarity, enthusiasm, and celebratory spirit. 3.5 The undersigned are advised to engage in liberal financial expenditure, particularly in light of recent or impending receipt of remuneration or income, colloquially known as "payday."

3.6 The right of personal identification and nomenclature is hereby preserved, allowing participants to utilize any preferred names or aliases, including but not limited to the moniker "Onika," with an alternate reference of "Nicki."

[Supplementary Section B: Reiteration of Dance Floor Engagement Terms]

B.1 The Signatories hereby restate and emphasize their commitment to the aforementioned dance activities, underscoring the critical and potentially final nature of such engagement.

B.2 A renewal of the open invitation for increased participation in dance activities is hereby issued to all parties, with the objective of enhancing the collective experience and fostering an environment of shared enjoyment and social interaction.

[Article 4: Continued Directive on Celestial Aspirations and Elevation Intent]

4.1 The assertions and commitments outlined in Article 2 regarding the design and purpose of spacecraft, including their capability for atmospheric ascension and space travel, are hereby reasserted and emphasized.

4.2 A reiteration of the encouragement for participants to perform the symbolic act of reaching towards the sky is made, symbolizing the continuation of their aeronautical aspirations and the sustained nature of their elevated experiential state.

4.3 The Parties reaffirm their unwavering commitment to these activities, with an emphasis on their perpetual and uninterrupted nature, signifying a continuous desire to maintain and enhance this state of heightened experience.

[Sub-Article 4.1: Final Affirmation of Elevated Status]

4.1.1 In concluding the terms of this agreement, the Parties reiterate and confirm their metaphorical state of elevation in terms of excitement, enjoyment, and collective euphoria, maintaining that such state is at a peak level, far exceeding normal or ordinary experiences.

[Article 5: Ultimate Declaration of Celestial Commitment and Non-Cessation]

5.1 The foundational principle that spacecraft, herein referred to as "starships," are destined and designed for high-altitude flight is underscored and reiterated.

5.2 Participants are advised and encouraged to perform the symbolic gesture of raising their hands towards the heavens, as an expression of their commitment to these elevated experiences and aspirations.

5.3 An explicit commitment is made to repeat these activities with unwavering enthusiasm and determination, symbolizing the enduring nature of these collective aspirations and the non-negotiable intent to continue these experiences.

[Sub-Article 5.1: Ultimate Altitudinal Declaration]

5.1.1 In the final stipulation of this agreement, the Parties declare that their metaphorical altitude, in terms of collective enthusiasm, excitement, and emotional elevation, is at an unprecedented high, surpassing standard measures and societal norms, thereby sustaining a state of unparalleled exhilaration and communal elation.