I asked ChatGPT to rewrite the lyrics to Getaway Car in legalese.

As it says in the title, I asked ChatGPT to rewrite the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s Getaway Car in legalese. Here’s the first verse and chorus:

[Intro]

In a manifestly assertive negation, it is incontrovertibly stipulated that the origination of outcomes imbued with a propitious disposition is incommensurate and fundamentally antithetical to the operational parameters and designated utility of a mechanized vehicular entity, which has been specifically earmarked and allocated for the facilitation and execution of an expedited egress in scenarios necessitating precipitate departure.

[Verse 1]

The designated chronometric segment under meticulous scrutiny herein is demarcated by an assemblage of circumstances that collectively epitomize an unparalleled zenith in the ambit of societal and personal fortitude, prosperity, and well-being, thereby engendering a juxtaposition of considerable magnitude against a tableau of actions constituting egregious violations of statutory legal provisions, ordinances, and codified regulations, encapsulating a spectrum of moral turpitude and legal infractions. I partook in an act, premeditated in nature, entailing the initiation of a chemical reaction via the deliberate introduction of an incendiary element, an act which precipitated a metaphorical and substantive reconfiguration and upheaval of your mental faculties and perceptual paradigms, notwithstanding the absence of any inimical intent or malevolent foresight inherent in such actions.

It is incumbent upon the discourse to acknowledge and underscore that the actions aforementioned were undertaken devoid of any ill will or malevolent predilection, yet notwithstanding this, your sensory interpretation and cognitive apprehension mechanisms failed in their capacity to accurately construe, interpret, or apprehend the multifarious implications and underlying nuances of these events. The sartorial selections of the period in question were imbued with chromatic attributes reminiscent of traditional mourning, juxtaposed in stark contrast against fabrications and representations characterized by an absence of blemish, taint, or impurity, thereby manifesting a dichotomy in both visual and moral symbolism within the context of the prevailing social and cultural mores.

In an environment delineated by a gradation of chromaticity lacking definitive resolution and clarity, all under the penumbral and subdued emanation of luminescence originating from a light source constituted of a hydrocarbon wax-based material, the setting embodied a confluence of ambiguity and interpretive complexity.

There existed within the sphere of my personal inclinations a prevailing propensity towards the severance and disassociation from the male individual in question, an inclination necessitating the formulation, articulation, and subsequent establishment of a rationale and justification, which would withstand and endure the scrutiny and evaluation of both legal and ethical dimensions, maintaining adherence to established jurisprudential standards and moral doctrines.

[Pre-Chorus]

A symbol, embodying significant gravitas and indicative import, was strategically and deliberately positioned to demarcate and signify the specific geographical and metaphorical point at which the disintegration, dissolution, and unraveling of our interpersonal dynamic and relational paradigm transpired, marking a definitive cessation of previously established relational constructs.

The male party in reference, through a series of deliberate actions and machinations, undertook the intentional adulteration and contamination of the metaphorical wellspring, a conceptual entity representing the essence of truth, authenticity, and veracity, concurrent with my own engagement in a process of self-delusion, a narrative construction in direct opposition and contravention to the objective realities, truths, and factual certainties of the prevailing circumstances and situational context.

From the very inception and embryonic stage of our association, an event symbolically marked and denoted by the partaking and imbibing of an alcoholic beverage deeply entrenched and rooted in historical, cultural, and traditional significance, the trajectory, ultimate denouement, and eventual culmination of our partnership were preordained and foretold to be one inherently devoid of success, fruition, or positive culmination, echoing the sentiments of predetermined futility and inevitability.

The probability, likelihood, and chance of achieving any form of favorable outcome, success, or positive realization in our surreptitious, clandestine, and covert undertakings and endeavors bore a striking, pronounced, and remarkable resemblance to the improbability, unlikelihood, and near impossibility of successfully executing and accomplishing a firearm discharge, an act of ballistic engagement, in a milieu, environment, and setting entirely devoid of visual assistance, aid, or illumination, reflective of an absolute absence of perceptual clarity and visual acuity.

[Chorus]

Your role, position, and function within the narrative construct and unfolding tableau were that of the principal operator, navigator, and director of the automotive apparatus, a mechanized and engineered vehicle specifically, meticulously, and expressly designed, engineered, and assigned for the overarching purpose and objective of executing, facilitating, and effectuating our strategic, premeditated, predetermined, and expedited withdrawal, egress, and departure from a given locality, geographic location, and specific vicinity.

The path, trajectory, course, and direction which we embarked upon, initiated, and commenced, while outwardly presenting, exhibiting, and manifesting an illusion, semblance, and appearance of forward, onward, and progressive motion, movement, and advancement, were, in their intrinsic, inherent, and fundamental essence, nature, and substance, devoid, bereft, and lacking any significant, substantive, or meaningful advancement, progression, or forward movement towards a preconceived, predetermined, envisioned, or anticipated goal, endpoint, objective, or destination.

It is incumbent, obligatory, and behoove upon you to eschew, refrain, and abstain from the adoption, assumption, and portrayal of a facade, guise, or appearance of engineered ignorance, feigned unawareness, or contrived obliviousness in relation to, concerning, and regarding the intricate, multifaceted, and complex enigma, conundrum, and puzzle that encapsulates, defines, and characterizes the complexities, nuances, and intricacies of our shared, mutual, and joint predicament, situation, and circumstance.

I exhort, encourage, and implore you to engage, partake, and immerse in a process of introspective analysis, reflective examination, and contemplative assessment, a process focusing, centering, and concentrating on the specific geographic locale, coordinates, and location at which our initial interpersonal engagement, interaction, and subsequent relational evolution, development, and progression commenced, initiated, and began, thereby marking and signifying the commencement, inception, and initiation of our initial encounter, interaction, and the subsequent series of relational developments, interactions, and engagements that ensued and followed thereafter.

In the process of navigating, maneuvering, and traversing within a vehicular construct, entity, and apparatus explicitly, meticulously, and specifically engineered, designed, and constructed for the primary, fundamental, and overarching purpose and objective of enabling, facilitating, and providing for swift, efficient, unencumbered, and unimpeded relocation, movement, and transition from an immediate, specific, and particular vicinity, locale, and area.

The manifestations, expressions, and physiological responses within, encompassing, and pertaining to the anatomical region, area, and zone encompassing, incorporating, and including your cardiac system, heart, and cardiovascular apparatus bore a remarkable, noteworthy, and striking auditory resemblance, parallel, and similarity to signals, sounds, and auditory cues traditionally, conventionally, and customarily associated with, linked to, and indicative of situations, scenarios, and circumstances of imminent peril, danger, emergency, or exigent and urgent conditions and situations.

The foresight, anticipation, prescience, and forward-looking awareness of my propensity, inclination, tendency, and predisposition towards initiating, instigating, and effectuating a cessation, termination, and discontinuation of our collaborative venture, endeavor, and association should have been readily apparent, discernible, and evident within the bounds, confines, and parameters of reasonable predictability, foreseeability, and anticipatory projection, reflective of a standard of foresight and anticipation consistent with rational, logical, and prudent judgment.

I implore, urge, and beseech you to direct, focus, and orient your intellectual, analytical, cognitive, and contemplative faculties, processes, and capabilities towards a thorough, comprehensive, exhaustive, and extensive evaluation, assessment, and examination of the venue, setting, and location that signified, marked, and denoted the commencement, initiation, and onset of our initial encounter, interaction, and the subsequent series of relational developments, interactions, engagements, and exchanges that ensued and followed in the subsequent temporal progression.