Sam Wight

I asked ChatGPT to rewrite Starships by Nicki Minaj as a legal contract.

I asked ChatGPT to rewrite Starships by Nicki Minaj in the form of a contract agreement. Here it is.

[Article 1: Agreement Pertaining to Coastal Recreational Activities]

1.1 Parties to this agreement (hereinafter referred to as “the Parties”) hereby express their intention to venture forth to a coastal geographic location, commonly known as “the beach,” for the primary purpose of engaging in activities related to oceanic wave interaction.

1.2 The Parties shall maintain autonomy of action and decision-making irrespective of external opinions, commentary, or potential judgments from third parties or public observers, in accordance with the principle of personal liberty and freedom of expression.

1.3 Authorization is hereby granted for the consumption of malt beverages, specifically those labeled as “Bud Light,” within a celebratory context, including but not limited to actions commonly referred to as “toasting” or “clinking of drinks.”

1.4 Recognition is hereby made of the rarity and unique nature of certain participants within this agreement, particularly those possessing qualities of distinction and noteworthiness, including but not limited to social, professional, or personal achievements.

1.5 Engagement in the consumption of distilled spirits, specifically Patrón tequila, is sanctioned and encouraged within a designated area, to be referred to as “the consumption zone.” Participants hereby acknowledge their full and enthusiastic participation in said zone.

1.6 The Parties agree to exercise discretion in the provision of gratuities for services rendered during the course of these activities, with a suggestion towards generosity, notwithstanding their prerogative to utilize personal funds for non-essential or discretionary expenditures.

[Supplementary Section A: Dance Floor Utilization Protocol]

A.1 The signatories to this document (hereinafter “the Signatories”) declare a profound and enduring interest in engaging in rhythmic physical movements, henceforth referred to as “dance activities,” primarily conducted on designated dance surfaces or “floors.”

A.2 It is requested by the Signatories that such dance activities be intensified and continued until such time as physical endurance or capacity may be fully expended, highlighting the potential uniqueness and unrepeatability of this opportunity.

A.3 An open and standing invitation is hereby extended to all relevant parties for increased participation in the aforementioned dance activities, emphasizing the potential for enhanced enjoyment and social engagement.

[Article 2: Directive on Aeronautical Ambitions and Elevation Intent]

2.1 It is hereby acknowledged and agreed that spacecraft, colloquially and hereinafter referred to as “starships,” are constructed with the explicit function and capability of ascending beyond the terrestrial atmosphere and into outer space.

2.2 Participants are encouraged to engage in a symbolic act of raising their upper limbs towards the celestial sphere, signifying aspirations towards said aeronautical ambitions and reflecting the elevated emotional and psychological state of the participants.

2.3 There exists a mutual and binding commitment amongst the participants to persist in these activities, reflecting the elevated state of enjoyment and a collective decision to preclude any consideration of cessation.

2.4 The Parties hereby affirm their intent to repeatedly engage in these activities, reinforcing the significance and desirability of such repetition.

[Sub-Article 2.1: Affirmation of Elevated Status]

2.1.1 The Parties collectively acknowledge and affirm their metaphorical elevation in terms of emotional, psychological, and social excitement and enjoyment, which is quantified as being of a significantly high degree, thereby surpassing conventional thresholds and expectations.

[Article 3: Terms of Vehicle Ownership and Financial Commitments]

3.1 The undersigned hereby asserts exclusive possession and control over a personal motor vehicle, colloquially referred to as “hoopty-hoopty-hoop,” notwithstanding any existing financial encumbrances or obligations pertaining to said vehicle, including but not limited to lease or rental agreements.

3.2 The undersigned reserves the right to prioritize personal satisfaction, well-being, and social interactions above traditional and customary financial responsibilities, explicitly including the payment of housing rent for the current calendrical month.

3.3 The Parties retain the right to engage in personal relationships and social interactions at their discretion, emphasizing a lifestyle of freedom and indefinite continuation.

3.4 Participants are encouraged to partake in a communal verbal expression, specifically the repetition of the phrase “Ray, ray, ray,” as a demonstration of group solidarity, enthusiasm, and celebratory spirit. 3.5 The undersigned are advised to engage in liberal financial expenditure, particularly in light of recent or impending receipt of remuneration or income, colloquially known as “payday.”

3.6 The right of personal identification and nomenclature is hereby preserved, allowing participants to utilize any preferred names or aliases, including but not limited to the moniker “Onika,” with an alternate reference of “Nicki.”

[Supplementary Section B: Reiteration of Dance Floor Engagement Terms]

B.1 The Signatories hereby restate and emphasize their commitment to the aforementioned dance activities, underscoring the critical and potentially final nature of such engagement.

B.2 A renewal of the open invitation for increased participation in dance activities is hereby issued to all parties, with the objective of enhancing the collective experience and fostering an environment of shared enjoyment and social interaction.

[Article 4: Continued Directive on Celestial Aspirations and Elevation Intent]

4.1 The assertions and commitments outlined in Article 2 regarding the design and purpose of spacecraft, including their capability for atmospheric ascension and space travel, are hereby reasserted and emphasized.

4.2 A reiteration of the encouragement for participants to perform the symbolic act of reaching towards the sky is made, symbolizing the continuation of their aeronautical aspirations and the sustained nature of their elevated experiential state.

4.3 The Parties reaffirm their unwavering commitment to these activities, with an emphasis on their perpetual and uninterrupted nature, signifying a continuous desire to maintain and enhance this state of heightened experience.

[Sub-Article 4.1: Final Affirmation of Elevated Status]

4.1.1 In concluding the terms of this agreement, the Parties reiterate and confirm their metaphorical state of elevation in terms of excitement, enjoyment, and collective euphoria, maintaining that such state is at a peak level, far exceeding normal or ordinary experiences.

[Article 5: Ultimate Declaration of Celestial Commitment and Non-Cessation]

5.1 The foundational principle that spacecraft, herein referred to as “starships,” are destined and designed for high-altitude flight is underscored and reiterated.

5.2 Participants are advised and encouraged to perform the symbolic gesture of raising their hands towards the heavens, as an expression of their commitment to these elevated experiences and aspirations.

5.3 An explicit commitment is made to repeat these activities with unwavering enthusiasm and determination, symbolizing the enduring nature of these collective aspirations and the non-negotiable intent to continue these experiences.

[Sub-Article 5.1: Ultimate Altitudinal Declaration]

5.1.1 In the final stipulation of this agreement, the Parties declare that their metaphorical altitude, in terms of collective enthusiasm, excitement, and emotional elevation, is at an unprecedented high, surpassing standard measures and societal norms, thereby sustaining a state of unparalleled exhilaration and communal elation.